Monday, 10 November 2014

Day 12 - The quiet before the storm.

Today has been very quiet, too quiet - well apart from when the delivery man who came with our new phone system - the other died last week around the same time the phone line went base upwards.  The noise of our door bell makes Mia dog go crazy, but hey - at least we know someone is at the door!  No matter how often you tell them she's blind and that's the only reason she does it, doesn't seem to make much difference, she still barks and they still look worried. In all truth, she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag, much less even chase one of the cats, tell her to "get that cat", cat goes left and she goes right!!

Talking of animals, I had to pop to the Co-Op earlier for milk, and when I got back to the car, there was a couple at the bus stop opposite with a erm...... thingy, animal on a lead.  No not a dog, not a cat or rabbit, smaller - much smaller - only got little legs, poor thing had trouble keeping up with the owner who had it on a lead. Don't think it was a weasel or a stoat - cos a weasel is weaselly identified, and a stoat is stoatly different.  It could have been a ferret I suppose, but I won't ferret around for laughs.

Moving swiftly on, tomorrow is Finding out day, I'm not saying what time, the only people that need know the time is my Husband, my Son and his girlfriend, they are my family who have been there for me since this all started, and they along with Chris' Mum, will be the first to find out or hear about it from either myself or Chris.  I feel so very lucky to have so many friends from Facebook, who leave me messages of support, or just chat with me privately when I need it.  I can't lay every single thing on my Husband and Son, and it wouldn't be right to do so.  If you have been kind enough to chat with me, then thank you.  The time you have taken is very much appreciated, when you only have a very small family circle to communicate with, it's often hard to find anyone who wants to chat or listen.

Don't get the wrong idea about this bit, but I'm not as stupid, as I may sometimes appear.  I can read, and yes I have looked up Secondary Spine/Bone tumour on the internet.  So I have got a pretty good idea already of what lays ahead of me, and what the prognosis is for that part of the cancer.  So if it's less, then that's a bonus. What is it they say "Expect the worst, and hope for the best".  You can't do much more than that, can you really??  We did the same when Chris was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis back in 2007.  I doubt we ever dreamt then that another life threatening condition would effect us.

As to the primary tumour, take a picture of a female and stick a pin in it where you think the primary tumour is.  You have as much chance of diagnosing it as I do.  It could be anywhere, breast, thyroid, brain, throat, lungs, stomach, bowel, but where ever it is, I will take it on.  Yes I am going to be upset, that's pretty obvious, I would be stupid and foolish if I were anything else.  It's not going to be fun I know that.  One thing I do ask, if you can't be nice/kind or helpful even, don't bother at all.  I don't have the time, energy or patience for those who want to be nasty, vile or anything else, so just don't bother, I don't want to know.

Right I am shattered, yet again I had no nap today, 4th day in a row, tomorrow will be day 5 I bet, so before I end up as a heap on the floor, quick relocate of a cat or 2, push the dog down the bottom of the bed, quite why I bother I don't know, she was flat out across the bed this morning - we both had our statutory 2 inches - on the edge!

Night all

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